What is this, I don't even
by DragonRider13025
Summary: Nick/Ellis, It's Ellis' turn to keep watch on the safe room door tonight. But what happens if he falls asleep? Will Ellis have to suffer the consequences of special infected, or have a conman explain how he got his embarrassing nicknames? M/M


**Hey ya'll, it's been a while. God damn....too long, I'm afraid that my writing skills need to be worked up to par again...ANYWAYS...Left 4 Dead rawks...and so does Left 4 Dead 2. I hope you're reading this because it's important for the actual story. It takes place in the first safe room on the Parish campaign, so if you don't know what that one looks like then...oh noes. Well, I guess you could call it a store...with a stairwell. Indeed. That's what it shall be called, OK, enough distractions, I've had enough while writing this thing...I swear that I started writing this last week, and it sat open in a window on my laptop until I painfully forced myself to finish what I started. It's very hard for me...to write. Hopefully I'll get less lazy so I can get something done. I actually don't know why I'm writing Nick/Ellis now. I blame the sickness!! While writing/plotting this piece I was very sick, so sick that I would have liked to kill myself to put myself out the suffering I had to endure. But now I'm slightly better, and on drugs. Fo cereal, this was written while I was on drugs! I hope you're happy! You see what Amoxicillain does to me!? ...It cures me...BUT ALSO GIVES ME MANY PLOT BUNNIES OF NICKxELLIS!!! Dx (so to all you people who want to get into the hottest new pairing around, con amoxicillain outta your doctor today! That's the way Nick would do it! Don't you wanna be like Nick!? ...on a side note, perhaps I shall try to bring those horrid nagging plot bunnies to life, there is hope in the world...even for lazy people like me.) FINALLY. ENJOY.**

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Ellis felt his eyelids grow heavier by the second, he leaned further back onto the bottom stairs so he could try and get into a more comfortable position. He was so tired that his eyes hurt every time he blinked, and he had to force himself to keep from snoozing off. Well…what did you expect from running from zombies for the last week and two days? Ok, not exactly 'zombies'…more like 'infected' if you wanted to be politically correct. But who the hell had time to be politically correct when you're running from crazed zom-I mean, infected, when they're trying to eat your _freakin' _brains!?

_Certainly not me!_ The young man reminded himself as his grip tightened around the barrel of his shotgun. His earth colored eyes were focused on deserted town beyond the bars of the safe room door. Distant groans and gurgles could be heard, reminding Ellis why he was keeping watch on the safe room door in the first place.

His survival group thought it was a necessary precaution to prevent certain infected from sneaking up with their…infection and attacking them in their most vulnerable state. Scribbled notes from previous safe rooms had unfortunately explained how Spitters, Boomers, and sometimes Smokers managed to injure and kill some survivors through the bars while they were resting. All because someone needed to add OPEN SPACES to the safe room door. Damn the government.

Speaking of the government, they had assigned the people he had to travel across the state with! Not that he was particularly complaining… He felt his face heat up as he brought his knees a fraction of an inch closer to his chest. His group consisted of the lovely Rochelle, shady Nick, and father-figure Coach, and after the first few hours of blasting zombie brains onto the pavement, Ellis knew he couldn't have asked for better companions. Not to mention the fact that he was fond of one of his teammates, woo, an added bonus! But wait! **Rule 5 of surviving a zombie apocalypse: No Attachments!!**

Haha, just kidding, someone's been watching too much Zombieland. Attachments are fine, at least to those who are immune. Makes you have something worth fighting for by Ellis' book.

Ellis scooted his butt from the floor and sat on the second bottom stair. Now he could stretch his legs out more comfortably. He let out a low groan as he settled into his new position. He tiredly took off his hat, scratched his head and placed it back on. It was his turn to watch the door during the first shift tonight. It didn't help that the a nice relaxing and crisp breeze was blowing through, gently brushing across his body, as if trying to lull him into sleep.

The southern absentmindedly clicked the safety off on his weapon, and then clicked it on again. He continued to do this, the clicking sound had mildly entertained him, and it was nice to listen to. He glanced over his shoulder to the back of his store to check on the others.

They were in the far back corner near the frozen food shelves, sprawled out on top of the dirty blankets that were already in the safe house. None of them seemed to have stirred or woken up, so Ellis nodded to himself and turned back to stare at the muggy New Orleans sky. The clouds obstructing the bright full moon made it look even more polluted then it really was. Even with all the residue from burning planes, missiles and bombs flying through the air, some nights stars could be seen.

The 21-year old yawned, not too loudly, but not too _softly _either. Ellis didn't even notice that the clicking from his shotgun had ceased, and his grip on said weapon was slowly loosening. His mind started to become fuzzy, and his blinks seemed to be slowing down, (each one lasting about five seconds each).

He stopped thinking about cars, guns, horses, zombies, infected, whatever the hell you wanna call them. He didn't think about Coach, Rochelle or Nick. No thoughts of what tomorrow was going to bring. He didn't even think about how a nice cold beer would totally make his night a hundred times better! Just…a comforting blackness that was slowly enveloping his vision.

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A firm, but soft presence on his lips slowly stirred Ellis from his sleep. It took him a moment to actually figure out what was happening, but as soon as he realized what was happening, he couldn't help but let a little smile creep onto his face. Ellis kept his eyes closed, too tired to actually try and open them. He sighed happily and halfheartedly applied pressure back at the lips on top of his.

The mechanic felt the other being move closer without separating their mouths, practically straddling Ellis. One arm was resting on the stair next to Ellis' head while the other hand was busy caressing his cheek. Each leg was on either side of his body, but they were on their knees so they were able to support their own weight instead of crushing Ellis. However, their torsos brushed against each others and the exchanged warmth was welcoming for both of them.

Ellis continued kissing new arrival lazily, their lips sliding across each others pleasantly. The mechanic sluggishly lifted his arm and let it drop heavily on his visitor's shoulder. He curled it around the back of the other's head and idly started playing with their hair. The slow and calming pace of the kiss relaxed Ellis even more; his kissing became more sloppy and muddled, making his lips to become very wet with saliva. He was sure that he about to pass out again until the other individual surprised him by sucking on his bottom lip for a second or two before separating from Ellis' mouth completely.

"Mmm, hey darlin'…" He mumbled sleepily, trying to open his eyes. His efforts were unmotivated though, only taking effort to rub the slobber off his chin with the back of his unoccupied hand, (the shotgun had been discarded at the bottom of the stairs).

A low chuckle was heard and the other person removed themselves from on top of Ellis. His arm that was wrapped around the other's shoulder slipped down rather gracelessly and hit the stairs with heavy thud.

"Now what did I tell you about calling me that?"

Ellis just shrugged his shoulders in response, a cocky smirk plastered across his face. "It's only fair. You call me all them girly names so why can't I return the favor?" He sighed, "The others up?"

"No, and kid, what names do I call you that are girly?"

The mechanic's nose scrunched up, finding it hard to believe that he was just asked that question. "Really? You serious?" He finally forced one of his eyes open to scrutinize the man next to him.

Nick let out a quiet laugh and shook his head. His eyebrow was raised, silently telling Ellis to continue and explain his claim.

Ellis in turn suddenly felt more awake than he did a few moments ago. He pushed himself up with his elbow and started ticking off his fingers. His brow was furrowed in agitation as he listed off the names.

"Well first off, there's Angel Eyes, Baby Face, sometimes jus' Baby if you're feelin' lazy," at this, Nick languidly nodded his head in agreement. Ellis continued, "Sweet Ass, Hot Legs,-I mean! Where do ya even git these names from?!" He demanded, throwing his arms into the air in disbelief.

"Cause SweetStuff," Nick threw an arm around Ellis' shoulder, which wasn't too appreciated by the younger of the two. Nick ignored the death glare and continued, "They all fit you perfectly!"

Ellis felt his jaw hang open. "Excuuuse me? Now that's jus' insultin'!" The mechanic crossed his arms and looked away from Nick.

"Now don't be like that. You're just upset because you know I'm right." The conman said slyly, leaning forward to try to make contact with Ellis' chocolate colored eyes.

"I have no idea where you're getting' this shit from." Ellis huffed angrily.

"Oh come on!" Nick reached over and grabbed the younger man's jaw and forced his head to turn towards him. "Look at this cute little face, you still got baby fat here. See?" Nick emphasized his point by squeezing Ellis' cheeks, making him imitate a fish of some sorts.

Irritated, the young man smacked Nick's hands away, who just laughed. "That don't prove nuthin'." Ellis rubbed his face where the other man had gripped, annoyed.

Nick just shot him a 'told-you-so' look, "Baby Face." He said pointing towards the mechanic with a grin.

"I jus' told you that it don't-" Ellis tried to protest but he was cut off by Nick.

"Oh, wait. Who's the youngest of our group again? I think I forgot." Nick feigned, putting a finger to his chin and looking up at the ceiling. His green eyes met Ellis' as he looked back down, cocky smirk in place.

Ellis just glared playfully, "Alright so I'm the youngest, who gives a shit?"

"You, obviously." Nick leaned back on the stairs and put his hands behind his head. "Didn't you just ask before to why you have these pet names?" He said in a rather bored tone.

"Alright alright, I get it. What about Angel Eyes? And don't give me no crap about how I'm like an angel fallen from heaven 'n I complete you 'n all that junk." Ellis said waving his hands around in a circle as he explained.

Nick closed his mouth, "Well, let's go on to the next one then." He said jokingly. Ellis looked at the conman dumbly, who just laughed, _again._ Right about now Ellis was feeling pretty silly that he couldn't win any side of this argument.

"No, no! No slippin' outta that one. You gotta explain it like the other ones!" the mechanic commanded stubbornly.

The older man exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Listen kid, I just came over here to make-out. Why do you have to start an argument with everything?"

Ellis gaped, "W-What?!" He covered his mouth. His voice was louder than he expected it to be. He glanced back at Rochelle and Coach and saw that they were still sleeping. He whispered this time, "What?? You were the one who-" he was cut off again.

"Can't we just not worry about it…" Nick asked softly. He shifted closer to Ellis and pressed his lips on the side of his neck.

Ellis tilted his neck to the side, letting Nick trail kisses up to his jaw. Ellis shuddered when their stubble brushed slightly. Ellis looked back out the safe room window. Still clear.

"What about Sweet Ass?" Ellis said flatly, glaring at Nick. Said conman groaned and pulled back from Ellis' neck with an irritated look. "It ain't exactly 'friendly' soundin' is it?"

"Well kid, you might not know it," Nick swung his leg over Ellis and straddled the other's legs, "and you might not even _want_ to know, but…" the conman smirked, "You got a sweet ass." Ellis nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Nick squeeze said ass. _How the hell did he slip his hand under there?!_ The mechanic thought, panicked that he didn't feel Nick slide his hand under his butt.

Nick laughed. No doubt Ellis' face was red, but he was sure that it was mostly from the surprise of being groped. He reluctantly let Nick lean over on top of him and kiss him. Ellis lifted both of his arms around Nick's shoulders and brought him closer. They kissed more fervently than before, sometimes biting each others lips in the moment.

"Now," Ellis began to speak in between their kisses, "You wanna tell me why, you're callin' me Hot Legs now?" He gave Nick a quick kiss before the older man decided to attack his neck again.

"Well, sometimes when you're real into it," the conman mumbled along Ellis' jugular, which made the mechanic sigh slightly. "You wrap your legs around me, and let me tell you kid. They get _hot._" Nick stopped nibbling at Ellis when he felt the younger man grasp the back of his jacket tightly. He laughed and pulled back to look at Ellis, "What now? You so pissed off you wanna rip my face off still?" He asked jokingly.

To both of their surprise, Ellis didn't have a look of anger or annoyance on his face. In fact, he was suddenly breathing heavily, and his eyes seemed clouded over. "No," he breathed, his voice was raspy, "For some reason now, I'm feelin' all hot n' bothered."

Nick's eyebrows shot up in an amused (and slightly aroused) fashion. "Oh really? So I guess you like that last name, huh? You little kink." He teased, but shut his mouth when he felt Ellis wrap his legs around his waist.

"I guess you could say that." Ellis said playfully, he pulled Nick on top of himself using his legs. Even though Nick landed roughly onto Ellis, the mechanic welcomed the weight. He closed his eyes and breathed lustfully into Nick's ear. He was holding him down tightly, relishing the warmth that spread throughout his body. "Tell me 'bout Overalls."

Nick cleared his throat. It was getting harder to form coherent sentences when you had Ellis panting in your ear like a dog in heat. "First time I met you kid, not that hard to tell you're a hick-Ow! Watch it kid!" The mechanic thought it would be funny if he had bitten Nick's ear, a little _too _hard. And now the conman could feel the little bastard smirking against his ear.

"Mmm, well," Ellis stopped to kiss Nick's neck, he licked his lips. He froze, and looked at Nick's neck like he was intrigued. "You taste good." He licked Nick's neck a couple more times, finding the saltiness of his sweat delicious compared to the bland 'just-add-water' meals they'd been eating. "Anyways, if I'mma big a hick as you's sayin' I am, then why ain't I tyin' you up, and draggin' you across a cornfield in my truck?"

An expression of mock hurt appeared on Nick's face. "Becauase _you _love me?"

"Yeah, I do." Ellis' body relaxed and his hands glided to Nick's face. His thumb stroked the conman's cheek absentmindedly and stared into Nick's jade eyes. Ellis smiled a little, "I love you."

Nick stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "You're such a sap."

Ellis' brow furrowed, suddenly serious. "Well my mama said that you should never hide your feelin's cause it's not healthy."

"Yeah yeah, and you're listening to her real well…" Nick grimaced, looking off to the side.

Ellis looked away as well, he bit his lip. They both knew that he was sort of being a hypocrite. Neither of them had bothered to tell Rochelle or Coach about their current relationship. They've only done 'things' at night, or when they were separated from the group. Whether that was bad or good, they still didn't know. The two of them did have quite a few interesting stories though…

Ellis knew that he would never get Nick to say he loved him, not in a million bazillion years. So he decided to drop it, giving the conman a little peck on the side of his mouth. "Sorry, got carried away." He looked down shamefully, afraid that he ruined the moment with one of his 'life lessons from Ma'.

"Don't worry about it." Nick kissed the younger man back, but with more force than Ellis. After a day of running around thorough abandoned buildings and whacking the heads off zombies trying to gnaw your limbs off, it was nice to have moments like this.

They pressed against each other, Ellis snaking his hands around Nick and fisting the back of his jacket. Their tongues brushed each other, and Ellis couldn't help but groan. Nick ran his hand through Ellis' hair and unknowingly knocked his hat off, not that either of them cared. They continued to devour each others mouths hungrily, occasionally making little grunts or moans to express their pleasure.

Nick was currently sucking on a sweet spot on Ellis' neck when the mechanic caught something moving out of the corner of his eye. His body immediately tensed and he froze in shock. Nick noticed as well, so he looked over to see what was making Ellis so distraught. Both of the men's mouth were agape when they saw what they thought was Rochelle, staring sleepily at them through the railing of the stairwell. She has a puzzled/determined sort of look about her, like she was trying to figure out why Nick was on top of Ellis, and why she wasn't one hundred percent awake yet.

Ellis hid as much of himself under Nick as possible, his whole face felt like it was on fire. _Oh God…I forgot that she was on second shift t'night! Dammit…_ The mechanic cringed. Nick however, didn't move since he was spotted, maybe he wouldn't be spotted if he stood perfectly still. Which really, was not going happen since his suit was white.

The conman was for once, at a loss for words, he opened and closed his mouth dumbly. "Um ah, Ro, I can explain-"

A loud sigh of exhaustion and annoyance from the girl shut his mouth. She ran a hand down her face and blinked a couple times, she looked right at the men, staring at them for a good thirty seconds or so. "Why is all these white boys gay?"

Ellis and Nick had no response for the girl, they continued to stare at her wide-eyed.

After a moment of frustration, she waved them off angrily and returned to her corner. Screw the second shift, she needed her beauty rest.

A few hours later she would wake up and question herself silently about having a dream about a certain conman and mechanic. Ellis remained unusually quiet that morning, and didn't bring up anything about 'sucking the heads'.

Coach decided that today would be a good day.

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**BTW, I don't even know what this fic is about, nicknames? WTF, it wasn't originally supposed to be like this, they were supposed to be having MANRY SEX!!! D: Once again...I am foiled by distractions...CURSE YOU DISTRACTIONS!! Oh and the file name for this .doc on my computer is called, "****FUCK YESSSSSSDLFJswkejtksdk"  
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**Can you feel my rage? That's just in case you wanna, I don't know, go on my computer and find it, I'm totally not on drugs at the moment. I don't know, have some carrots. They're good for your eyes.**

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